my mother cried on the telephone today.
told me the importance of ceremony, said that a ritual is needed for finality
when some one is gone.
i sat.
burned buffalo sage
placed over my heart
spoke wishes out loud and
reminisced about who i once wanted to be.
it's unfathomable,
the ease with which you can lose yourself in layered greys
that life builds up.
i can not remember the last time i didn't feel raw,
the last time i was strong
the last time i felt consequential.
i have to rebuild!
there really is a reason for everyday and
if i find that there is nothing in this brilliant damned world
for me
except myself,
ok.
i'm ready to feel at peace with that.
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