ALL THESE THINGS THAT I DO

drink cold coffee and

miss you terribly and

pretend i am not there and

bleed profusely and

cook elaborate feasts and

eat beans straight from the can and

touch you inappropriately and

let him crush me and

him too and

take whimsical photos and

lay in bed too long with the cat and

drink too much whiskey and

suck on lemons and

burn my skin and

sing made up songs and

dream about a bigger picture and

not think about the present and

twirl my hair and

flirt mercilessly and

eat meat three meals a day and

ride my bike cautiously and

draw forced pictures and

write forced poems and

create something beautiful and

cause self harm and

vomit in the toilet and

put mascara on and

not change my sheets and

graduate from university and

listen to the ticking clock and

yell on the telephone and

bite the inside of my mouth and

stare at her on the bus and

forget to bring lunch and

reduce my fragility and

realize i can't and

eat peanut butter off a spoon and

listen to bonnie raitt and

have intellectual conversations and

watch hillary duff movies and

fantasize about running away and

get painfully embarrassed and

think about him too much and

wake up (go to sleep).

image from the drifter and the gypsy