THOUGHTS IN WINTER, ABOUT OTHER SEASONS

ever since the grass turned brown,

each day has gotten more 

and more cold.  I walk with you

boots scuffing on the pavement and the swish of

your heavy parka. Thick glass eyes

stare back at me

and I can see the start of an infection,

a thin bloody line running straight from the tear duct.

Nobody is sweet anymore.

No body is sweet anymore.

There was only one person who would wake up in the middle of the night and kiss my back when they thought I was sleeping

and it's not you 

sticky treacle running from your lips.

THERE IS GOLD IN MY MOUTH

i would like to come home.

and lay you down

on that big sunny bed

and kiss tiny parts of your body, that you can't see.

with my soft warm mouth

that has been so hungry for you,

and mark the insides of your strong legs

with

sharp little bites

that will definitely leave marks.

I DO NOT KNOW WHERE MY HEART WENT, POTENTIALLY IT FELL DOWN TO MY FEET AND POTENTIALLY IT WENT SCREAMING OUT THE WINDOW

BUT WE HAVE A CAT!!!!!
i think in my mind as i watch you climb the ladder.
you're leaning away from me organizing
CD's to take with you.

BUT WE HAVE RINGS!!!!!
i think in my mind as i watch you change your jacket.
you're looking in the mirror and pushing the
hair out of your eyes.

BUT I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!!!
I think in my mind as i watch you walk out the door.
you're heading downstairs ready
to get on your bike.

BUT I AM CRUMBLING INSIDE!!!!!!
I think in my mind as i watch you put on your shoes.
you're about to leave the house
and lock the door.