DOMINOES

this is the season of nesting.
listless memory recalling the summer peach
that is the back of your neck. a sweet nectar
as you roll on the couch in the sunlight, I am left to
catch whiffs of the perfume-
signs of bruising, already.

this is the season of inarguable difference.
shadows long on the wall, amid storms swelling I
deconstruct like a Maryoshka doll. Breaking down
into smaller and smaller versions of myself.
becoming a lesser, and lesser woman.

this is the time for us now.
blanched, poached, bloated, we
form imperceptible knots in the string binding us. left unnoticed
until the need to tug hard,
a hail mary
these minuscule knots tied before,
now ripping at the seams.

PEANUT BUTTER

sour stomach
thoughts of
peanut butter and
banana toast,
the smell is sickening.
thick honey in-between my fingers, teeth
life is nauseating.

YOU DO IT VERY GRACEFULLY

cinnamon
rose buds
honey
toothy smile
florescent lights
you:
      doing hat tricks
      eating subway sandwiches that drip onto the table
      wearing more layers than I thought possible
me:
      reminding myself to look up, talk to you
      low bun
      feeling antsy beyond belief.

NEEDLES AND PINS

a change of plans
a swift 
strike of the hand and everything
smells all salt/butter/burning garlic.

I've  potted and
re-potted
and re-re-potted
every plant in this house only to
notice how the damned roots just
keep growing deeper.

(a list of things to do:
fix backpack
finish library books
clean mold off window
turn down the tea kettle)

I ask my mother
my father
my sister
but in the end it
was my brother who told me the truth.

SECOND THOUGHTS

i
do
not
know
is this "Good"?

I can not wait forever, flightless bird.

SSB

there was a day

we rose with the song birds and
all this crystal light, refracting, illuminating, multiplying. It was a gentle space
to be alive. A
one room solace with a thinning Persian rug
on the floor and an entire wall of windows
to show soft winds and ghost cats
tap tapping to be let in.
you had never heard me sound
so loud
wolf howls and tightly shut eyes scared off the approaching deer. There was
one gas light set to burn low
your black cherry eyes, thick hair smoothed behind your ears. I had
midnight visions of you as aged and grey
silver on your fingers and
how fast this present turns it's belly
to decompose with all other matter, so ripe.
so long ago, we
peeked through the red cedar and avowed
to keep
what felt so precious. In those four walls we
asked questions of crystals anchored to chain
whispering truths out of the chimney to commune
with who knows what.
I never would have thought,
such growth as ours would have come
from such silence as this

A FEEDING

My own gristle and flesh,

these drums and aches create knots

thick and twined into my blood, my muscles, my skin barely

masks them all.

to accept, with grace and humility-

if only i could be so gallant! Instead, this beast

unfurled

uncouth

great lout, my heart.

(Of which you have swallowed in almost it’s entirety

i want to rip it from your teeth, your

oiled throat run dry but i profess:

I will fall soft for you again

as a brush dipped in water,

or every morning before

it has been witnessed by the human eye.

Always, I will rush to fill the absence

so weighted

it crushes every spark

every attempt to breathe

in the face of you, impossible and

never ending. )

Oh heart, so clumsy and earnest

it is nigh time to unwind.

fruited in my mind and

spoken by my sordid guts, the truth is that

It would be remiss of me to have offered you one solemn prayer

of hope that

you ever had a chance at success.